What is Social Media? Friendship.

I’ve been talking to a lot of people about their definition of friendship. I’ve found out “friend” is a term that is either used very loosely or very strictly.

For me friendship means we’ve bonded over something, we’ve shared something and we are currently “friendly.”

I apparently have a very loose definition of ‘friend’.

Perhaps it’s my nature, but I am very friendly with most people I talk to. Then there’s the small percentage of people out there that I instantly dislike, but they’re a very small percent. Or perhaps it’s my father’s influence. My dad carries on a lot of very low-maintenance friendship. Mostly because both sides of the friendship are extremely busy people, but when they get together it’s like coming home to a pot roast and mashed potatoes.

Or perhaps it’s my experiences.

For a long time I was a very active member of an online community around a C-list celebrity but amazing musician. I worked hard in the community to promote it and keep the peace during the many, many drama breakouts that happened. The musician noticed me and we shared a couple short private messages and enjoyed a sporadic interaction.

Then came a big event in Nashville (at the time I was in Chicago), so I decided to fly there and fly back the same day just to see the musician in concert. It was a pretty intimate setting (only about 30 or 40 people max) so we got to talk and have him sign autographs.

After that we, once again, enjoyed sporadic interactions.

A couple years later, he was going to play in Indiana, so I hopped on a train and went out to see him. I was standing waiting for a couple other fans who were absolutely gah-gah over his previous work with a larger, more popular group. The group split up and now all three members were doing solo careers and I, personally, enjoyed this particular musician’s work better.

But these fans? Still gah-gah. So we got to talking, semi-friendly, and I mentioned that I knew the musician. They gave me an eyeroll.

Then the guitarist for said musician showed up and gave me a big hug. So they only half eyerolled.

Then said musician strolled in. He saw me and said “Hey Tabz!” Then he proceeded to give me two copies of his new CD.

Lets just say the fans who had been eyerolling stopped.

Is said musician a friend in the sense that I have his cell number and can call him? No.

Is he someone I communicate with often? No. I actually haven’t talked to him in almost a year.

Is he a friend? I consider him one, but then – I’m a bit crazy.

Same with my social media friends. I may not know you intimately, we may not talk every day, but you’re a part of a circle of people I consider friends. Why? Because you share in my life. You read my blog, you reply to some of my twitters, you engage me on a level much more intimate and relational than if this was a book you picked up at Barnes and Noble and were just reading. You make me think and we can talk.

That’s a friend to me. What’s “friend” mean to you?